My HOA has lost its mind

[Jims5543]

I love to watch the HOA evolve. Every time we get a new crew new problems arise that I had no idea were problems until they created them.

Last crew was over the top with citing everyone for the smallest infractions, grass too tall, driveway needs pressure washing, the tire on my FJ Picks up a screw and goes flat and is suddenly it is a disabled vehicle abandoned in my driveway.

Now the issue is Renters and speeding in the community.  Seems they are banning Air B&B and Home away type rentals. They are also going to make some rule where you cannot rent a home out until you own it one year.

They are threatening to put speed bumps into the community, all the car guys are having a cow.

Then they did this, makes our community look like a shit hole. I now do 20 MPH in a low gear so my engine screams like I am flying, just so I can be an asshole.  These signs are everywhere..


I am about to order my own and they will have some snarky BS statement on them.  Like "Speed Bumps are for Chumps!"

[MPlayle]

Check what the city regulations are about those kind of signs.  The HOA may be in violation of a city ordinance for putting them up, especially in such masses.

There are 8 signs visible in that one picture alone.

[94touring]

Signs like that are pretty tacky.  As someone very involved in an hoa, the signs are pretty bad.  We've spent the past 3 years cleaning up eye sores in the form of repairs and updates, not creating them.  We have a bylaw no tenants less than 30 days, which makes sense in our high rises to keep people more vested on keeping the place nice.  We've had issues with a couple multi unit slum lords that made us clamp down. 

[Jims5543]

Just ordered 25 signs:


    SPEED BUMPS
        ARE FOR
        CHUMPS
#STOPBEINGSTUPID

I have a few neighbors that will appreciate them


Sign wars have begun!!

[Jims5543]

I just remembered this morning I have a good friend with a pinstriping company that branched out into a sign company.

Gonna stop by his shop next week and see if he can make small runs of signs for me. 

I have another one in mind.

I am upset
So I have this:
LAWN SIGN


Pump your brakes
       HOA


I am open to suggestions.

[Jims5543]

The speed limit is 25 in my community, which I always do.

Now I drive 20, this is insanely slow, since everyone wants to slow down, I have slowed down.

Someone was behind me tailgating me, like a couple of feet off my bumper. When we came around a bend a police officer was driving opposite us, the tailgater backed off, then rushed back up on me as soon as the police car was out of sight.

Here is the kicker, they peeled off from behind me and pulled into a driveway with a SLOW DOWN sign out if front if their house.

I came VERY close to stopping and backing up to confront the driver and ask them if they really want me to slow down, or only when I am not in their way.

Hypocrites.

[Jims5543]

[94touring]

How many of those did you make?

[Jims5543]

Only 5 of those.

I have 20 of the Speed Bumps are for Chumps sign on its way to me.

[Jims5543]

Speed Bumps for Chumps coming Saturday.

Woo!!

Sign wars are in full swing.

[Jims5543]

It has begun.....

[Jims5543]

[Jims5543]

Zero so far, there will be 15 of MY signs placed throughout the neighborhood over the next couple of days.

So far my speed bumps are for chumps are only in 2 yards. Mine and a guy with a new Porsche 911TT up the block who is having a cow over the proposal of speed bumps. Seems our HOA proposed and passed a motion for speed bumps in the hood with no input from the people that they represent.

They have decided they know what is best for the community and speed pumps are the answer.

I have ALWAYS observed the speed limit in here.  I have now taken my speed down to 20 MPH as I indicated in another post.  I do not want speed bumps in here.

Mark my words, if they do put them in, I will not be a nice neighbor anymore.  I will race from bump to bump.

I am already looking for some really noisy track racing pads for my E30, you know the kind that sound like metal scraping when you hit the brakes, I am trying to see what the most obnoxious pads out there are. They will go on my E30 for sure if I have to deal with speed bumps.

[MiniDave]

I don't think they can arbitrarily add speed bumps to the road, since the road does not belong to them....it belongs to the city.

I wanted to add a speed bump or two to my street as the city maintenance dept trucks were using my street as a shortcut - which they were NOT supposed to do - and it was a fairly good hill and kids were racing down and getting air at one spot.

City said no......and if I put them in anyway they would come tear them out and charge me $$$$ to remove them, plus I'd get a fine.

I seriously doubt they will put speed bumps on your road.

However, surely some of the residents must have been seen driving too fast, like the guy that was on your bumper that day? Otherwise, why would they even put up the signs?

Oh, and who paid for the signs they installed?

I had to go another route, I stood outside in my driveway and photographed every truck that went up and down my street in one day and went down to the maint yard and showed the pis to the supervisor. I told him if he didn't stop it I would get my neighbors to file a class action suit against the city and name him personally. It slowed down after that but didn't stop,

[Jims5543]

Per their facebook page.

Speed tables have already been approved by the HOA board, there is literally no other way to ensure people slow down in our development. No decisions have yet been made as to exactly where they'll be placed, but we've had dozens of requests.

Also received a flyer in the mail explaining the bumps were approved by the HOA and they were waiting for the County to put their blessing on it and possibly the county is installing them.

[gr8kornholio]

Don't underestimate the power of an HOA.  Some have more power over your house and neighborhood than any other entity that exists.  Depending on how the subdivision was set up originally the streets may be owned by someone other than the city or county.  Your dues may be paying for them too, just need the counties ok.  That's another scary thing, the actual residents can have little to no say in what is approved.  If the board, or even the president says ok it goes through. 

There was that artilcle some years back about a guy that bought the streets of a hood in San Fran for past taxes and was then trying to impose parking costs on the residents for parking on it. 

Get electric exhaust cut outs.  That way it's annoying as heck in the hood but normal outside of it.

[Jims5543]

I have lived here 20 years, for the most part the HOA has been really low key and hands off.

This is not a high end hood, this is a working class neighborhood.   We almost moved in 2004 to a high end hood and thought better of it, mostly because I greatly dislike wealthy people who are only interested in measuring their wad against yours.  I find the keep up with the Joneses neighborhoods to be boorish.  Instead we purchased a vacation home on the Smokey mountains, yes, in another working class hood.

I like my little hood, my neighbors are far away from poor, my neighbor 2 doors down owns a bail bonds place and is awesome.  AC company owners, plumbers, electricians, mechanics etc.. Down to earth normal people.

Years ago the HOA decided we needed to be like the place across the street with million dollar homes, so they started hammering on everyone to fix up their houses. I remember making some posts about that, my kicking back at them resulted in the property management company or someone on the HOA vandalizing my home.

Now the "new" problem is speeding and rental properties. 2 things that have been going on since I have moved in here 20 years ago. These are not new problems.

Don't fuck with me and we get along fine, fuck with me and I will have a problem with you and you will not like me very much, I can be a real asshole when fucked with.  They are about to learn that.

AND YES!! I love the open exhaust switch idea. If the bumps arrive I will be installing that too.

[gr8kornholio]

The one HOA hood I lived in was pretty low key.  Keep lawn mowed, flower beds clean, fence up, no crazy colors or large structures.  Of course I did insert myself into the Architecture approval committee spot.  Bit of a hassle once or twice a year, but I always new what was going on. 

I've had friends and co-workers in some o so ridiculous ones.  Rules literally governing how you can use the property you allegedly own.  No thank you.

Of course now I live in a non HOA hood and corner house is a vacant dump that someone barely maintains the lawn and fence and next door finally updated fence and cleaned out shrubs/bushes around the house.  Of course their yard has been a mud slide and a gutter is hanging off over the front door.

Just find it sad that "responsible" home buying "adults" need to be told to take care of their property.  Cause that always leads to abuse of power and overstepping to feed one's needs.

Good decision on the vaca home and good luck with the continued battle.

[Jims5543]

Many years ago I lived in Cape Canaveral and worked on Merritt Island, just outside the NASA gates.

I was working for an Aerospace Engineer who was Indian (Dot) and building his dream home on Merritt Island in a very high end community.  With a Arch board of course.

Well turns out the folks on the HOA and Arch board were a touch racist and did not want a Indian in their hood, or at least this it seemed like to us as the Arch board was being over the top dictating every little thing and holding this cat up at every turn. 

They regulated EVERYTHING right down to the paint on the house.  There was only one thing they missed, roofing.   ;D

I wish I had a picture this was before digital cameras.  He ordered and installed what I love to call a Prince Purple Rain metal roof for the house.  The Arch board went bananas and a lawsuit ensued with them trying to get his roof removed.

The judge ruled in the homeowners favor and the Purple Rain roof remained, perched right up there on top of the magnificent 2 story home and man you could see it from far far away. It was glorious.

[Jims5543]

Good decision on the vaca home and good luck with the continued battle.

Sold the vaca home in early 2008 just before the crash for a nice little profit.   ;D


I would not call this a battle, it is more trolling in real life. I honestly cannot give a shit, I will be VERY annoyed by speed bumps, it will make our hood look like an apartment complex.

I am too busy with life and work to be bothered, I am entertained by the stupidity, and my lawn signs took all of 15 minutes to order.  Handing them out to neighbors is fun as you get to chat with friends.

Watching the HOA having a meltdown is priceless. I made them melt down once, I hope I can troll enough to do it again.

Open to suggestions.   ;D

[MiniDave]

Seems to me if you organize a group of folks who don't want speed humps to go to the council and countermand their request, that might prove productive?

[Jims5543]

Seems to me if you organize a group of folks who don't want speed humps to go to the council and countermand their request, that might prove productive?

I honestly do not have time to fight a war.  I am too busy running my business, being a father to my son and husband to my wife.

Typically HOA's attract a certain type of people with nothing better do to. No offense to anyone who has served on one here it was not meant to be a shot at you.

Therefore, they can become real pains in the ass, and eat up my time, I do not want them to take my time, I cannot get that time back, if they take it from me they already won.

They already "voted" and decided Speed Bumps are the answer and are moving forward, I can waste time trying to fight this, except, I have better things to do.

I was going to make my home a rental once I am done with it, which may be in another 5-7 years from now. Therefore I can deal with whatever bullcrap they dish out, as I said it is constantly evolving depending on whatever peeve the presiding president has at the moment.



I placed out 3 signs this morning around the hood, one was removed by noon today when I went home for lunch.  I will place 3 more tomorrow and hope to have time to distribute a few out to neighbors tonight.

[Jims5543]

By 6 PM all 3 of the signs I put out were taken.

I only put one sign out today with a message for the taker on the back.

Speed Bumps are in Apartment Complexes
Speed Bumps are in Trailer Parks
Speed Bumps are in Parking Lots
Don't Make LeiLani a Ghetto

Keep taking our signs and we will step up our game.

[Jims5543]

The latest sign sits untouched.  Seems me message on the back has done the trick. all the signs put out in general areas will get the same message.


Stopped by and chatted with my neighbor Jim, he has the 991 Turbo.

He already flys my Speed Bumps are for Chumps sign.

I tossed one on his front porch last week and he immediately put it up.

I gave him 5 more this evening, seems I am not alone with the no speed bump mindset. He said all the people around him are on the same page, no speed bumps.

There is a 20 something name Chris he has a Subaru that is stanced, you know when the tires are are weird camber angles and the car slammed to the ground, I need to stop off at his house next.

I also found out the HOA Pres. is a woman and not too stable, this this might be an ugly fight.

[Jims5543]

The signs that are being taken are being placed in common areas. The one on my lawn and my neighbors lawn remain untouched.

As of 6 this morning the one with the message on the back is gone.

Time to get in touch with my friend who has a sign company. He is like a grown child, so he will enjoy this.

By the end of the weekend I hope to have a lot of neighbors on board.